Circle of Life.

I know that I may not be the only person who knows this, but I'd still like to discuss how life contains such beautiful patterns. Life is NOTHING BUT BEAUTIFUL patterns. Living your life is like a journey to finding out the patterns and sequences. I say this because I've been discovering a few patterns lately. Like when your depressed/upset one day, your happy and enlightened the next day or vice versa.
Just because my blog contains plenty of unhappy entries, I don't want you guys thinking I'm some sort of mentally depressed psyco. haha. It just happens to be that I vent more often through writing. I rarely write when I'm happy. If I do, it tends to get cheesy. But yea. Today was a good day thought, it was worth it after two days of head racking disappoinments.

Old vs. New

I need to upgrade EVERYTHING in my life. Or should I let life upgrade itself for me? I don't know but things are getting really old now. My routines, my interest and the people. I'm not trying to say I need new people, new routines, or new interests, I'm just trying to say I need to upgrade those factors. Seriously though, I'm not too happy with the way things are. I hate to admit, but I will easily let go of those things I love if it means for me to be happy. I know it's going to be hard, but I'm just desperate to not be upset anymore. I really despise how I'm ALWAYS upset or depressed. Nothing good ever really comes to me. Maybe like 45% of the time. And when they do come, I get all joyful and thankful. I just want to be thankful of the goodness in life rather than being depressed with the negativity always bothering me. Sheesh. Can't I get a break?! A really long one??

I know I'm not perfect..sheesh.

So I've been scolded, yelled at, put down just cause I can't do things the right way at the right time. I know I mess up a lot, but I'm not the kind of person to mess up badly if I can't bring myself back up on my feet. It would be nice though if I had someone to help me up. It's really uncomfortable to live my life with all these people called my "family" "supporting me". Honestly, I don't feel like I'm supported properly. My mom living with me doesn't even talk to me, and my grandma is always yelling at me making me feel like I'm worthless and I don't do things the right way. And the rest of the family doesn't even realize what I'm feeling, even if they did they wouldn't even understand me. They would just get mad at me for being upset. Sounds ridiculous huh?
And I understand it's partly my fault too because I've been slacking and lagging. I mean what do you expect, I'm just trying to live my life the way I think is peaceful and somewhat distressful. I don't like stressing out cause I'll freak out and have a breakdown. I'm trying to avoid that. And for some reason no matter what I do, my so called family will ruin it. And to me it hurts how no one's on my side. You wanna know something that's really messed up? Today my grandma confronted me and said something about the whole family not being on my side or not caring anymore. I don't know if that's what she really said cause I can't really understand filipino, but I'm pretty sure that's what she meant through her tone.
I don't want much from them, I just want a peaceful vibe and a little more love, considering the fact that my mom didn't turn out the way I expected. I want to love my family and I don't want to end up loving my friends and boyfriend more. Everyone's telling me family is the best thing, but I don't see it that way yet.
I've never felt so lonely in my life before. I don't even have my own space to vent my feelings. I don't want to have a perfect life, I just want things to be easier, and It's not that I don't want to work hard for it, it's just that it's hard for me to work for it. I'm just asking for a really good life or a good time without having to pay for it through pain, for once in my life I wish that was possible. I've seen something like that before and I know it can happen to me.

Romeo's version of the Love Story<3

THIS MADE ME CRY LOL

We were both young when I first saw you.

I close my eyes and the flashback starts..

.. you're standing there.. on a balcony in summer air.



See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.

Making my way, I'm moving through the crowd to say "ello.."

Little did you know..



.. that I was Romeo, as I was throwing pebbles..

.. heard your father say "Stay away from Juliet!"

Had to leave you crying on the staircase.. begging me "Please don't go!"

So I said..



Julie I'll take you somewhere we can be alone.

Just be patient.. nothing left to do but run.

You'll be the princess, I'll be the prince..

It's a love story baby say "Yes."



So you sneak out to the garden I'm hiding..

.. we keep quiet cause we're dead if they find me.

Close your eyes.

.. escape this town for a little while.



I was Romeo, you were my Juliet.

Even my father said loving you is not worth it.

Had to leave you on crying on the staircase.. begging me "Please don't go!"

So I said..

Chorus

Julie I'll save you, they'll never come between us!
Just hold on and love is gonna free us!

Don't be afraid, oh we'll make it through this!

It's a love story.. baby just say "Yes."



I'm sure she's tired of waiting.

Swear I'm on my way, just had to work some things out!

I hope her faith's not fading..

.. that was when I met her outskirts of town..

.. and I said..



Julie I apologize, didn't mean to scare you.

Need you more than anything.. I refuse to share you.

Saw it in her eyes, she didn't know what to think..

I knelt to the ground and I pulled out a ring..



And said..

"Marry me Juliet.
You'll never have to be alone.

I love you and that's all that I really know!

I talked to our families, pick out a white dress..

.. it's a love story baby just say "Yes."

'

Cause we were both young when I first saw you.

17 forever=]

Happy Birthday to me and happy 11months! yaayyy. So I really underestimated this whole day. It started off really bad with an argument coming from my boyfriend. He let me down on a few things but what matters was that he made it up for the upsets. I was really disappointed about a few things, like how people were acting kind of annoying in the household, like I was PMSing or something. More like AMSing. So we went to the city during the day and he took me out to this restaurant for dinner. The food was helaa good. And he made the moment really cheesy by writing me this song. Sound sweet huh? Well our argument in the morning was worth it.

People Actually Do CHANGE, Well Some =/

I lived my life thinking that people will never change, and It's been proven right to me..til now. The people you focus on the most, and the people you wish to change the most are the ones who won't change. But from my experience, the people that I learned to just leave alone and let them be, are the ones who actually change. I'm shocked. Because never in my life would I have thought THEEY would change. But you know, It also wasn't them that changed themselves a hundred percent. Gotta give me some credit too, because I changed as well, which probably evoked them to change.
And believe it or not, I love them now, I never used to look up to them, I thought of them as the worst people and I blamed them for my depressions but now, I feel safe around them, I feel open around them and they've been a highlight of my days.
So guys, when you loose hope in the ones that you love, word of advice just don't mind the change and focus more on who makes you happy rather then focusing on them changing. People actually do change, maybe just not the way you want them to, this world revolves around compressions and adjustments. People are meant to change but they never promised to change the way you want them too. Enjoy what you've got while it's good and don't mind what depresses you. Enlighten up!

PS. and by the way I forgot to let you guys know, when people do change for the better, I understand that you guys might be flabbergasted but you have to learn to accept the change, and I know that the good adjustment is too good to be true, but guess what? It's all real and don't be afraid to trust them =] If they hurt you again, well then that's when you know the change wasn't a good one.

Blog.

As many of you asked me why I barely have pictures on my blog, It's because for me, this isn't really a blog where pictures are contained. I called it my "public diary" for a reason. My diary consist of mostly words to give out a visual image in your head. So yea. And you wonder why would I have a public diary? Believe it or not but people don't want to admit how nosy they are with other people's lives, so to make it easier for them, i give them something from my life to wonder on. And I'd be surprise if you guys actually read everything I post. Cause I gotta admit, my entries are pretty long.

So I've realized

I haven't been taking pictures in hela long.

Is wrong the new right?? FUCK IT.

It sickens me how people don't understand the goodness in life. I hate what people do just to get by in life. Like USING other people. Seriously though. Be real for once and appreciate what you're using from other people.
I have to admit, I've been a victim of being used and it hurts because it feels as if my qualities were something people could just use and throw away. It's not only happening to me, but EVERYONE is using people nowadays. Wtf, people who do that are useless. AND YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST??? The fact that when I need someone for help, consolations, or advice, where the fuck is everybody at??
I've lost trust in everyone now. People I thought were my true friends and true family are now nothing me but a piece of shit. And I'm not going to do anything about it, because people like them aren't bright enough to realize what's happening.
I can't believe the shit I did for them, and when I say THEM, I mean family, friends, etc. When people needed my help, it was my pleasure at all means to give out the best advice I could, when people felt down and depressed, I was down there with them bringing them up, AND WTF DO I GET??? A BIG FUCK YOU AND OH I DON'T NEED YOU RIGHT NOW ATTITUDE.
Well fuck that and let karma let you know how I feel. I swear if I was a witch I'd fucking curse their life. BUT I'm kind of a good person, I have a heart and I'm more into HELPING them than HURTING THEM.
People, I'm not writing this out of anger, I'm doing this out of understanding from you. The actions you make, the thoughts that goes through your mind composes who you are and affects the people around you, BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE.
I understand this world is fucking demented but I understand there's hope for anything, so please think twice about who your using. AND BE APPRECIATIVE.
Friends arent someone who you can just use when you need and put away when you don't need them. REMEMBER KARMAS GOT YOUR BACK. It may seem like nothing, but the pain you've put me will be double on YOU.

out the closet??

So like for the past few days I've been thinking about this certain feeling I'm having. It's about time that I thought about this. I was telling my boyfriend how much he meant to me, but for some reason i felt like i was incomplete. Like i was looking for a love from that special someone, a special person. I'm currently feeling lonely on that side. I guess a guy can't fully satisfy me. I'll always be looking for that special person till i find them.

RIP

So I'm wondering why everyone is dying this millennium? Is this a sign? or what? But anyways it's a shocker, like seriously, of all people why Michael Jackson. Okay I don't want to talk about his death anymore cause It's depressing.
I'm not going to change the subject fully, but I'm going to converse slightly about that topic. When you get older, don't you kind of realize how things get more dramatic? For me it's like that. I may have done more dramatic things as I was younger, but nowadays drama is catching up to me.
Honestly, I'm not at a good position with my mom right now, feels as if i don't even have a mom..it's worse than it was before. I know i spent months wishing for something i never had, but when I had what I wished for, i certainly don't want it anymore. Life was better off without her. Her presence disturbs me, not disrespectfully, but more in a hurtful matter. It's hurtful knowing that she's my mom and I'm feeling that way, but it's at a personal reason.
But anyways whatever, I'm not in any mood to discuss my personal problem about my mom so I'll continue this topic some other time. &&RIP MICHAEL.

once in a lifetime.

As you see, i rarely write on this blog. I have to admit I'm frikkin lazy to be writing here everyday, as I've probably mentioned, I'm the most inconsistent person you'll meet so don't expect an every day article from me. And i do have my own journals to be updating on.
Anyways as summer is here I'm open for as much opportunities. But the bad side is I'm having the highest expectations ever. I have to understand what happens in my past will never eventuate again. So I decided to stop sitting here and wait for repetitions.
I also realize i can't always have fun forever, so I did something you would never thought I would do, and i applied for a job. ehw i know right? Well I think It's the right thing, like I probably said before; Life is not always a big party. The party has to end sometimes. So that's my consequence. It's the first step to responsibility. I really hope you're reading this thoroughly because I'm saying things you'll probably never hear me say outloud.
But yeaa. I don't know if you've realized but I'm the kind of person who's pretty stuck on my past. I woke up from a placid sleep last night just to think about about my past and ways it made me happy, but that really disturbed my peace and all of a sudden my stomach started to hurt. You know that feeling you get when you miss something terribly but you know that it'll never come back again? yea. that's what it was. The factor i was missing wasn't a person, nor an event, but more like a timeline..and how i felt during that timeline. I never knew I would feel such heavy happiness. I really took for granted of those days.
I know most of you who's reading this probably wouldn't care but I know there are some one out there who was involved in my past will slightly miss what i miss a bit. right? Well then you better be on the look out, cause even though factors in life will never repeat, I will do whatever to atleast remember how it was like to feel a certain way, even if it means getting in touch with whoever and whatever.

There's always gona be anotha mountain, im always gona wana make it move..

..ain't about how fast i get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other side..
Life's a bitch..but everytime i hear that song, i always have to remember..it's not always about the happy ending, it's about how i how got there. blah blah blah. I can't help but to just stay pessimistic. It's how i stay sane. When i'm happy then there's something amiss in my life situation. Smells bittersweet don't it?


Reminding yourself about the life you live in is the only medicine that can heal this world's demented ways that have poisoned our minds and brainwashed us. I would know 'cause I've been through nothing but heavy experience. I could only take so much. and with this experience, id like to share with you all what the conclusion has caused to me think. I've been hypocritical when i give out advices, but as long as it helps then there's nothing defective.


Anyways here's some poems and quotes i find attention catching but to you maybe arid:

"Rivulets of light
pouring through onto the
green expanse of the world
shadows of clouds wading in the blue
of the sky
swallows diving and twirling and tumbling graceful
like ribbon-creatures
what if it was suddenly gone?
would you notice?"

"... people will eat whatever theyre fed. Why? Because we as people have an appetite for atrocity and we long to be full - even if it is to be full of the bulls*** we as humans feed ourselves..."

"I think when you recognize the evil in yourself you become the kind of person who can change anything"

"I'm not asking to have the perfect life...I'm just asking for it to be a little less difficult."

"I observe the pitiful naive world today,
So shallow and living the wrong way..
In hatred, selfishness, and denial.
Is it wise to make our special moments meaningless,
To ignore their value,
To make them not worthwhile?"

"Only when we have been deprived of things does it mean so much more."

"Love, Sex, Relationships, and even Life has lost its value.. because we choose to make it so meaningless.."

"Beat in my heart as you stir my night
wake up my soul by your touches light
scream to my deafness , teach me
deeply how to listen, to blindly see

hold my cracked bones into your arms
heal me my love, by a look that charms
light my room by the sparkle of your eye
be the star that brighten this inner sky

oh hold me close under the jewels of the rain
with every drop, give me a kiss for my pain
for by every touch you'll heal & strength my soul..
Haven't I said before, you're the part that can
did, and forever will make me perfectly whole"

Daydream on the spot.

I think im crazy. What do you think? I don't know. I think i just have a unique set of minds..and a bit too much conscience. It's all good, least I'm not psychotic. Anyways.. Guys, do me a favor and please don't criticize what you can't understand, thanks, that's all. I want to get off the computer and call my boyfriend. And have phone sex. just kidding.

sounds familiar?

Better Off Alone (Radio Edit) - Alice Deejay

Time kills pain.

flashbacks, and this is how i wish to feel:

"Cool"
It's hard to remember how it felt before
Now I found the love of my life...
Passes things get more comfortable
Everything is going right

And after all the obstacles
It's good to see you now with someone else
And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

We used to think it was impossible
Now you call me by my new last name
Memories seem like so long ago
Time always kills the pain

Remember Harbor Boulevard
The dreaming days where the mess was made
Look how all the kids have grown
We have changed but we're still the same
After all that we've been through
I know we're cool

And I'll be happy for you
If you can be happy for me
Circles and triangles, and now we're hangin' out with your new girlfriend
So far from where we've been
I know we're cool

everyone fucks up once in a while

Like i stated, EVERYONE'S a fuck up once in a while. And just cause you do, don't give up. From common sense, it't obvious that shit happens and you have no where to go so you go straight to doing what you gota do to feel good..blah blah blah. And you know what, i maybe a little hypocritical with this statement but i feel as if im a fuck up =[ i dont know. i believe it's just the time period im currently in. Everything's crashing down on me. So whatever i don give uh fuck nomore, so drink it up, smoke it up, pop it up and fuck it up. just kidding.
But really though, this whole fuck up situation is not getting me anywhere good. I'm sacrificing my own loving relationship just to focus on my virtues. And im stressing out like crazy on prom. Its not even my prom. ugh. and Im failing most my classes. Trapped and no where to go, can anyone help me?? Well theres this poem i just read that changed me a bit:

GO TO SCHOOL
I was in a college classroom and the professor asked the class

"Raise you hand, if you would kill for you family?"

like a Wild West quick draw, it took me no thought

i raised my hand high stretched like the tower of Babylon reachig for the heavens

but was i the only one to raise my hand in this class?

naw, all hands in the class was raised like we was hailing a dictator

he replied "I'm assuming its all out of love, huh?"

we all nodded our heads proud to hold it down for out families

ready to attack, wishing somebody would bring harm to our folks

but backlash would come so fast as the professor replied

"Then why cant we learn for our families? HuH? Why can't we go to school for our families? What does skipping school do for your family? Does that help? How about killing? Tell me what does it do?"

and the only thing that was on my mind was my peoples

high school statistics in the city say Pacific Islanders are one of the smallest populations in the school district

but yet are among the highest dropout rates

and i cant understand this because i see potential in my people

like seeing the sun when it sets, you can't ignore it

i cant ignore the Saturday afternoon games young uso's play to get that scholarship for college

I cant ignore the meolody of three pat harmonies sang over the accoustics by my young PI sisters

I cant ignore PI artist hidden in history class creating masterpieces

on pieces of papers that they should be takin they notes on

i cant ignore the slice of humble pie my brothers and sisters share with each other

I cant ignore how the cops ignore out potential and instead racial profile

i cant ignore being ignored my society

because society has already set our standards and these standards are lower than hell

knowing that we were brought into this world with standards unlimited

were encouraged to do okay but thats not okay because we were destined to be something great

seeing a future as a soldier more likely than a future in the classroom doesnt cut it for me

so wake up PU people because we making movies out here

City College of San Francisco is making moves out here

i say it out loud and clear what are you going to do out here

we got this long road of life dont spend it living in fear

we navigated throught the south pacific using the stars and the motherland as our compass

gifted speakers know to move mountains the history of leading is in our blood
Im a Pacific Islander physicially intimidating with a hidden heart of gold

moved my love never my intimidation

originators of the tattoo, pioneers in sea exploration, i am a wordsmith continuing the oral traditions

of our ancestors telling you to wake the fuck up, acknowledge your potential

and be what you want to be, be a teacher, a preacher, a lawterm a chef

an artist, a doctor, a poet, your best

and next time the professor asks "raise you hand, if you would kill for your family?"

the answer next time will be "why wyould you even ask me that question because right now im too busy living it up for my family"

ANDREW VAI

it's either LOVE or SUCCESS.

I can't stress this topic enough. I'd consider you lucky if you can perceive both and have it all. Not everyone can have that. As people say, love comes to you after success or vice versa, but to me its either one or the other. I know i'm young and everything but im ambitious as well, and that trait gets me deciding whether love overpowers success. If i have one, ill be synthesizing the other. Confusement is where im at. if i make the wrong decision, i cant just regret it.
Being with my other side of the family made me realize something again. My lifestyle leans towards them, the success they have and the materialistic life they live, all cause of success. BUT overall, my life has been nothing but searching for love, and i found it on this side of my comfort zone. And honestly, love isnt making me feel so successful. Im filled with nothing but foolish decisions..and a i know it may seem so unconcerned, but my mind is also filled with nothing but lethologica. I cant just be sitting here forgetting everything i say. This upsets me. It makes me feel like im heading no where good towards life. And honestly, i blame my environment and vibes from "these" people. People should understand that success comes from a family who gives off the proper love, not the crazy love. the love that proves you need mental help. and so far, i haven't received the proper love to motivate me to success.
I know may sound a little dull but its seriously affecting me. I need HELP. No, not thaat kind of help. but more like motivation. I want to be around positive people right now. i really dont care what's fun anymore, cause fun has lead me to hell. Im not going to live my life in hell all cause of fun. I want to get my priorities straight, and if you want to help me, my doors are always open, know that you will receive the same back from me.

once de marzo.

Im highly disappointed with life at the moment. As thankful as i am with many things, the cons outweight everything this time. I know i shouldn't trip about these nonsense issues of mine but it's piercing through me. I feel as if im not being lead through the right place, or further more into details; i dont see a possiblity of me being in the right place. The world is fuckin scary though. Its a low percentage for people nowadays to succeed with all the distractions..weed pills, etc. Blame it on the alcohol. I have to admit, the BEST times in life is one of the worst. And the best words you'll hear is deceiving. And no one is helpful nowadays. Everyone is so dumb. Barely anyone knows what's worth it or not nowadays. Why cant people use theyre fuckin heads? And you know what i cant stand the most? People who try a little too hard to be the shit, most of all, people who think theyre the shit. A pice of shit i would say. Cant stand this nonsense. As bad my temper already is, alot of things really boost it up. I HATE LIFE..for now.

secks. realli?

So yea. today yesterday and the day before was one of the boringest weekend ever. It rained the whole time, ruining my plans, like i even had plans. And this week contained plenty of disappointments. I've been bitchin' out lately. ugh i believe it's the birthcontrol thats affecting it, ugh. anyways im not looking forward to school tommorow, i heard its going to rain and besides that, i wont be able to hang out with babe. *sighhh* i feel like crying right now, its a bit too emotional for me how im lisening to songs that's bringing me back to time. i HONESTLY miss the old days =( the happiness that i dealt with. like now that i have a certain happiness, i loose another one. LIFE is so UNFAIR, i wish it could cut me some slack a bit and make at least one thing fair.

Over Caffeinated

For today, all I could say is WOW, I didn't expect it to be such a roller coaster ride. It included random emotions coming at me all at once...
So like at fist I started off to be really BITCHY. My so called excuse was because i was sick, HONESTLY i was sick but not to a point where it influenced my mood, i just didn't want to go to 2nd period, but babe made me. It's okay, that was just a minor irritation. &then the rest of the day was pretty decent, nothing over exciting happening, till lunch..i felt like i wanted to spice up the day, so i decided to "caffeinate" myself. Now, that was the start of my roller coaster ride, at first i was really hyper and jumpy, then came along the anxious emotion that trigger a little too much inside me. It felt as if time was running sloowweerrr than ever..i swear, as impatient as i was, i was getting really upset than usual about time running slow on me. Then all of a sudden, school ended and like usual, i went to go eat at FIL-AM with babe and then to his friend's house, and i didn't want to stay there so i left him there and i went off to War Memorials and met up with Irish and sharilyn.
I have to admit it was nice being there and having a good ass long conversation with her, she's one of the best person i can conversate with and deliberating my thoughts to her made me realize alot of things, like how i want to renew my friend ship with alot of people.. i dont want to name who. but i do miss having him as a friend. anyways besides wanting to renew a friendship, i also realized that one of the friendship im in, is a fatass counterfeit. OH well, thats something i dont want to waste my precious time on.
Then after all the relieving conversation, i went to babe's house and had the daily time of my life there, if you know what i mean ;D if you dont, then you should..cause trust me its the best.
Then after that i went to go eat AGAIIIN with babe, i have to admit, our second round of eating was better, because there was better food, i was feeling better, and me and babe had a better conversation that really got deep. I enjoy deep conversations, it gets me to a place in my imagination, and makes me think, for those of you who wonder, I DO THINK..once in a while.
ANYWAYS, today made me realize the most important things, like choices i dont need to make and mistakes i dont want to encounter again..and on the bright side, i have something to look forward to, something that won't let me down.

SOUR CREAM >=/

OMG today is going to be added to one of my most hated days on the list. Its ironic cause i expect today today to be hela fun, due to the plans me and babe made. The plan is an epic failure, I'm never going to make plans in my life again...
SO LIKE today started off with some annoying ass rude motherfuckin people getting in the way of me having to pee. What's worse than people stopping you from peeing? Because of that i had to find another working restroom, and it took me like about 30 mins to find one. shiiittt. though, i already knew from the start i wasn't going to be impressed by any of the outcomes. whatever; theres always a tommorow right?
&like I hela procrastinated on my Bio project. I had a whole week to do it but I decided today, and amazingly it turned out pretty neat. That project didn't take much work, just knowledge on the topic. ANYWAYS Im done with everything so i decided to write another post here, im such a noob on this blog thingie, all i know is that i write here for people to see. Besides this, im waiting for my stupid bf to call. that motherfucker doesn't know how to answer his phone. How would that bitch like it if i don't call him. I bet you anything when i talk to him later he's going to come up with the same excuse "oh i was busy with blahblhabla", why else wouldn't he answer right?
UGH I swear I cant get this daily dose of boredness out of my head, this causes me depression for the randomest reasons. I feel as if I need something new in my life..like a JOB! a job to prove my independence from my immaturity, besides that, I feel like things aren't fair in my life, i know that nothing is fair, but damn i make sure other people are feeling okay, why can't that be offered the same way to me?

First day; bloggspotting.

omg yayy im actually not lazy to make this stupid blog thingie majiggie=) but anywho i felt as if i needed a place to deliberate these emotions of mines and i was tired of writing in my diary because i cant broadcast it to the whole world. and some people actually enjoy reading my business=) i will fullfill your enjoyment.

ANYWAYS; like today's the last day of president's week, ehww that means i gota go back to school tommorow. i enjoyed my week, well it was mostly spent with my babe637, like were always together its not even funny, dont you guys ever wonder if we get tired of eachother? HONESTLY yea i do but when i do i start to miss him. call it sprung off that niigger.

The most RaMdOm shit happened this whole week, &&i think that's what made this month the most memorable. from having a neighbors dog excecutively visiting our house killing cats and chasing skunks to having a bday party for 5 different people, getting hela fucked up and having the gayest hangovers. ugh my life is demented dont you agree? oh well, the most successful people is found with a hint of craziness. i shall end this conversation with myself so i can go downstairs and eat this steak that my uncle just made, im fucking starving, after not eating and throwing up cause of this stupid hangonver, a fat juicy steak is really APPEALING =P