So I'm wondering why everyone is dying this millennium? Is this a sign? or what? But anyways it's a shocker, like seriously, of all people why Michael Jackson. Okay I don't want to talk about his death anymore cause It's depressing.
I'm not going to change the subject fully, but I'm going to converse slightly about that topic. When you get older, don't you kind of realize how things get more dramatic? For me it's like that. I may have done more dramatic things as I was younger, but nowadays drama is catching up to me.
Honestly, I'm not at a good position with my mom right now, feels as if i don't even have a mom..it's worse than it was before. I know i spent months wishing for something i never had, but when I had what I wished for, i certainly don't want it anymore. Life was better off without her. Her presence disturbs me, not disrespectfully, but more in a hurtful matter. It's hurtful knowing that she's my mom and I'm feeling that way, but it's at a personal reason.
But anyways whatever, I'm not in any mood to discuss my personal problem about my mom so I'll continue this topic some other time. &&RIP MICHAEL.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
once in a lifetime.
As you see, i rarely write on this blog. I have to admit I'm frikkin lazy to be writing here everyday, as I've probably mentioned, I'm the most inconsistent person you'll meet so don't expect an every day article from me. And i do have my own journals to be updating on.
Anyways as summer is here I'm open for as much opportunities. But the bad side is I'm having the highest expectations ever. I have to understand what happens in my past will never eventuate again. So I decided to stop sitting here and wait for repetitions.
I also realize i can't always have fun forever, so I did something you would never thought I would do, and i applied for a job. ehw i know right? Well I think It's the right thing, like I probably said before; Life is not always a big party. The party has to end sometimes. So that's my consequence. It's the first step to responsibility. I really hope you're reading this thoroughly because I'm saying things you'll probably never hear me say outloud.
But yeaa. I don't know if you've realized but I'm the kind of person who's pretty stuck on my past. I woke up from a placid sleep last night just to think about about my past and ways it made me happy, but that really disturbed my peace and all of a sudden my stomach started to hurt. You know that feeling you get when you miss something terribly but you know that it'll never come back again? yea. that's what it was. The factor i was missing wasn't a person, nor an event, but more like a timeline..and how i felt during that timeline. I never knew I would feel such heavy happiness. I really took for granted of those days.
I know most of you who's reading this probably wouldn't care but I know there are some one out there who was involved in my past will slightly miss what i miss a bit. right? Well then you better be on the look out, cause even though factors in life will never repeat, I will do whatever to atleast remember how it was like to feel a certain way, even if it means getting in touch with whoever and whatever.
Anyways as summer is here I'm open for as much opportunities. But the bad side is I'm having the highest expectations ever. I have to understand what happens in my past will never eventuate again. So I decided to stop sitting here and wait for repetitions.
I also realize i can't always have fun forever, so I did something you would never thought I would do, and i applied for a job. ehw i know right? Well I think It's the right thing, like I probably said before; Life is not always a big party. The party has to end sometimes. So that's my consequence. It's the first step to responsibility. I really hope you're reading this thoroughly because I'm saying things you'll probably never hear me say outloud.
But yeaa. I don't know if you've realized but I'm the kind of person who's pretty stuck on my past. I woke up from a placid sleep last night just to think about about my past and ways it made me happy, but that really disturbed my peace and all of a sudden my stomach started to hurt. You know that feeling you get when you miss something terribly but you know that it'll never come back again? yea. that's what it was. The factor i was missing wasn't a person, nor an event, but more like a timeline..and how i felt during that timeline. I never knew I would feel such heavy happiness. I really took for granted of those days.
I know most of you who's reading this probably wouldn't care but I know there are some one out there who was involved in my past will slightly miss what i miss a bit. right? Well then you better be on the look out, cause even though factors in life will never repeat, I will do whatever to atleast remember how it was like to feel a certain way, even if it means getting in touch with whoever and whatever.
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