Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Is wrong the new right?? FUCK IT.
It sickens me how people don't understand the goodness in life. I hate what people do just to get by in life. Like USING other people. Seriously though. Be real for once and appreciate what you're using from other people.
I have to admit, I've been a victim of being used and it hurts because it feels as if my qualities were something people could just use and throw away. It's not only happening to me, but EVERYONE is using people nowadays. Wtf, people who do that are useless. AND YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST??? The fact that when I need someone for help, consolations, or advice, where the fuck is everybody at??
I've lost trust in everyone now. People I thought were my true friends and true family are now nothing me but a piece of shit. And I'm not going to do anything about it, because people like them aren't bright enough to realize what's happening.
I can't believe the shit I did for them, and when I say THEM, I mean family, friends, etc. When people needed my help, it was my pleasure at all means to give out the best advice I could, when people felt down and depressed, I was down there with them bringing them up, AND WTF DO I GET??? A BIG FUCK YOU AND OH I DON'T NEED YOU RIGHT NOW ATTITUDE.
Well fuck that and let karma let you know how I feel. I swear if I was a witch I'd fucking curse their life. BUT I'm kind of a good person, I have a heart and I'm more into HELPING them than HURTING THEM.
People, I'm not writing this out of anger, I'm doing this out of understanding from you. The actions you make, the thoughts that goes through your mind composes who you are and affects the people around you, BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE.
I understand this world is fucking demented but I understand there's hope for anything, so please think twice about who your using. AND BE APPRECIATIVE.
Friends arent someone who you can just use when you need and put away when you don't need them. REMEMBER KARMAS GOT YOUR BACK. It may seem like nothing, but the pain you've put me will be double on YOU.
I have to admit, I've been a victim of being used and it hurts because it feels as if my qualities were something people could just use and throw away. It's not only happening to me, but EVERYONE is using people nowadays. Wtf, people who do that are useless. AND YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST??? The fact that when I need someone for help, consolations, or advice, where the fuck is everybody at??
I've lost trust in everyone now. People I thought were my true friends and true family are now nothing me but a piece of shit. And I'm not going to do anything about it, because people like them aren't bright enough to realize what's happening.
I can't believe the shit I did for them, and when I say THEM, I mean family, friends, etc. When people needed my help, it was my pleasure at all means to give out the best advice I could, when people felt down and depressed, I was down there with them bringing them up, AND WTF DO I GET??? A BIG FUCK YOU AND OH I DON'T NEED YOU RIGHT NOW ATTITUDE.
Well fuck that and let karma let you know how I feel. I swear if I was a witch I'd fucking curse their life. BUT I'm kind of a good person, I have a heart and I'm more into HELPING them than HURTING THEM.
People, I'm not writing this out of anger, I'm doing this out of understanding from you. The actions you make, the thoughts that goes through your mind composes who you are and affects the people around you, BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE.
I understand this world is fucking demented but I understand there's hope for anything, so please think twice about who your using. AND BE APPRECIATIVE.
Friends arent someone who you can just use when you need and put away when you don't need them. REMEMBER KARMAS GOT YOUR BACK. It may seem like nothing, but the pain you've put me will be double on YOU.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
out the closet??
So like for the past few days I've been thinking about this certain feeling I'm having. It's about time that I thought about this. I was telling my boyfriend how much he meant to me, but for some reason i felt like i was incomplete. Like i was looking for a love from that special someone, a special person. I'm currently feeling lonely on that side. I guess a guy can't fully satisfy me. I'll always be looking for that special person till i find them.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
RIP
So I'm wondering why everyone is dying this millennium? Is this a sign? or what? But anyways it's a shocker, like seriously, of all people why Michael Jackson. Okay I don't want to talk about his death anymore cause It's depressing.
I'm not going to change the subject fully, but I'm going to converse slightly about that topic. When you get older, don't you kind of realize how things get more dramatic? For me it's like that. I may have done more dramatic things as I was younger, but nowadays drama is catching up to me.
Honestly, I'm not at a good position with my mom right now, feels as if i don't even have a mom..it's worse than it was before. I know i spent months wishing for something i never had, but when I had what I wished for, i certainly don't want it anymore. Life was better off without her. Her presence disturbs me, not disrespectfully, but more in a hurtful matter. It's hurtful knowing that she's my mom and I'm feeling that way, but it's at a personal reason.
But anyways whatever, I'm not in any mood to discuss my personal problem about my mom so I'll continue this topic some other time. &&RIP MICHAEL.
I'm not going to change the subject fully, but I'm going to converse slightly about that topic. When you get older, don't you kind of realize how things get more dramatic? For me it's like that. I may have done more dramatic things as I was younger, but nowadays drama is catching up to me.
Honestly, I'm not at a good position with my mom right now, feels as if i don't even have a mom..it's worse than it was before. I know i spent months wishing for something i never had, but when I had what I wished for, i certainly don't want it anymore. Life was better off without her. Her presence disturbs me, not disrespectfully, but more in a hurtful matter. It's hurtful knowing that she's my mom and I'm feeling that way, but it's at a personal reason.
But anyways whatever, I'm not in any mood to discuss my personal problem about my mom so I'll continue this topic some other time. &&RIP MICHAEL.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
once in a lifetime.
As you see, i rarely write on this blog. I have to admit I'm frikkin lazy to be writing here everyday, as I've probably mentioned, I'm the most inconsistent person you'll meet so don't expect an every day article from me. And i do have my own journals to be updating on.
Anyways as summer is here I'm open for as much opportunities. But the bad side is I'm having the highest expectations ever. I have to understand what happens in my past will never eventuate again. So I decided to stop sitting here and wait for repetitions.
I also realize i can't always have fun forever, so I did something you would never thought I would do, and i applied for a job. ehw i know right? Well I think It's the right thing, like I probably said before; Life is not always a big party. The party has to end sometimes. So that's my consequence. It's the first step to responsibility. I really hope you're reading this thoroughly because I'm saying things you'll probably never hear me say outloud.
But yeaa. I don't know if you've realized but I'm the kind of person who's pretty stuck on my past. I woke up from a placid sleep last night just to think about about my past and ways it made me happy, but that really disturbed my peace and all of a sudden my stomach started to hurt. You know that feeling you get when you miss something terribly but you know that it'll never come back again? yea. that's what it was. The factor i was missing wasn't a person, nor an event, but more like a timeline..and how i felt during that timeline. I never knew I would feel such heavy happiness. I really took for granted of those days.
I know most of you who's reading this probably wouldn't care but I know there are some one out there who was involved in my past will slightly miss what i miss a bit. right? Well then you better be on the look out, cause even though factors in life will never repeat, I will do whatever to atleast remember how it was like to feel a certain way, even if it means getting in touch with whoever and whatever.
Anyways as summer is here I'm open for as much opportunities. But the bad side is I'm having the highest expectations ever. I have to understand what happens in my past will never eventuate again. So I decided to stop sitting here and wait for repetitions.
I also realize i can't always have fun forever, so I did something you would never thought I would do, and i applied for a job. ehw i know right? Well I think It's the right thing, like I probably said before; Life is not always a big party. The party has to end sometimes. So that's my consequence. It's the first step to responsibility. I really hope you're reading this thoroughly because I'm saying things you'll probably never hear me say outloud.
But yeaa. I don't know if you've realized but I'm the kind of person who's pretty stuck on my past. I woke up from a placid sleep last night just to think about about my past and ways it made me happy, but that really disturbed my peace and all of a sudden my stomach started to hurt. You know that feeling you get when you miss something terribly but you know that it'll never come back again? yea. that's what it was. The factor i was missing wasn't a person, nor an event, but more like a timeline..and how i felt during that timeline. I never knew I would feel such heavy happiness. I really took for granted of those days.
I know most of you who's reading this probably wouldn't care but I know there are some one out there who was involved in my past will slightly miss what i miss a bit. right? Well then you better be on the look out, cause even though factors in life will never repeat, I will do whatever to atleast remember how it was like to feel a certain way, even if it means getting in touch with whoever and whatever.
Monday, May 4, 2009
There's always gona be anotha mountain, im always gona wana make it move..
..ain't about how fast i get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other side..
Life's a bitch..but everytime i hear that song, i always have to remember..it's not always about the happy ending, it's about how i how got there. blah blah blah. I can't help but to just stay pessimistic. It's how i stay sane. When i'm happy then there's something amiss in my life situation. Smells bittersweet don't it?
Reminding yourself about the life you live in is the only medicine that can heal this world's demented ways that have poisoned our minds and brainwashed us. I would know 'cause I've been through nothing but heavy experience. I could only take so much. and with this experience, id like to share with you all what the conclusion has caused to me think. I've been hypocritical when i give out advices, but as long as it helps then there's nothing defective.
Anyways here's some poems and quotes i find attention catching but to you maybe arid:
"Rivulets of light
pouring through onto the
green expanse of the world
shadows of clouds wading in the blue
of the sky
swallows diving and twirling and tumbling graceful
like ribbon-creatures
what if it was suddenly gone?
would you notice?"
"... people will eat whatever theyre fed. Why? Because we as people have an appetite for atrocity and we long to be full - even if it is to be full of the bulls*** we as humans feed ourselves..."
"I think when you recognize the evil in yourself you become the kind of person who can change anything"
"I'm not asking to have the perfect life...I'm just asking for it to be a little less difficult."
"I observe the pitiful naive world today,
So shallow and living the wrong way..
In hatred, selfishness, and denial.
Is it wise to make our special moments meaningless,
To ignore their value,
To make them not worthwhile?"
"Only when we have been deprived of things does it mean so much more."
"Love, Sex, Relationships, and even Life has lost its value.. because we choose to make it so meaningless.."
"Beat in my heart as you stir my night
wake up my soul by your touches light
scream to my deafness , teach me
deeply how to listen, to blindly see
hold my cracked bones into your arms
heal me my love, by a look that charms
light my room by the sparkle of your eye
be the star that brighten this inner sky
oh hold me close under the jewels of the rain
with every drop, give me a kiss for my pain
for by every touch you'll heal & strength my soul..
Haven't I said before, you're the part that can
did, and forever will make me perfectly whole"
Life's a bitch..but everytime i hear that song, i always have to remember..it's not always about the happy ending, it's about how i how got there. blah blah blah. I can't help but to just stay pessimistic. It's how i stay sane. When i'm happy then there's something amiss in my life situation. Smells bittersweet don't it?
Reminding yourself about the life you live in is the only medicine that can heal this world's demented ways that have poisoned our minds and brainwashed us. I would know 'cause I've been through nothing but heavy experience. I could only take so much. and with this experience, id like to share with you all what the conclusion has caused to me think. I've been hypocritical when i give out advices, but as long as it helps then there's nothing defective.
Anyways here's some poems and quotes i find attention catching but to you maybe arid:
"Rivulets of light
pouring through onto the
green expanse of the world
shadows of clouds wading in the blue
of the sky
swallows diving and twirling and tumbling graceful
like ribbon-creatures
what if it was suddenly gone?
would you notice?"
"... people will eat whatever theyre fed. Why? Because we as people have an appetite for atrocity and we long to be full - even if it is to be full of the bulls*** we as humans feed ourselves..."
"I think when you recognize the evil in yourself you become the kind of person who can change anything"
"I'm not asking to have the perfect life...I'm just asking for it to be a little less difficult."
"I observe the pitiful naive world today,
So shallow and living the wrong way..
In hatred, selfishness, and denial.
Is it wise to make our special moments meaningless,
To ignore their value,
To make them not worthwhile?"
"Only when we have been deprived of things does it mean so much more."
"Love, Sex, Relationships, and even Life has lost its value.. because we choose to make it so meaningless.."
"Beat in my heart as you stir my night
wake up my soul by your touches light
scream to my deafness , teach me
deeply how to listen, to blindly see
hold my cracked bones into your arms
heal me my love, by a look that charms
light my room by the sparkle of your eye
be the star that brighten this inner sky
oh hold me close under the jewels of the rain
with every drop, give me a kiss for my pain
for by every touch you'll heal & strength my soul..
Haven't I said before, you're the part that can
did, and forever will make me perfectly whole"
Daydream on the spot.
I think im crazy. What do you think? I don't know. I think i just have a unique set of minds..and a bit too much conscience. It's all good, least I'm not psychotic. Anyways.. Guys, do me a favor and please don't criticize what you can't understand, thanks, that's all. I want to get off the computer and call my boyfriend. And have phone sex. just kidding.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
