People Actually Do CHANGE, Well Some =/

I lived my life thinking that people will never change, and It's been proven right to me..til now. The people you focus on the most, and the people you wish to change the most are the ones who won't change. But from my experience, the people that I learned to just leave alone and let them be, are the ones who actually change. I'm shocked. Because never in my life would I have thought THEEY would change. But you know, It also wasn't them that changed themselves a hundred percent. Gotta give me some credit too, because I changed as well, which probably evoked them to change.
And believe it or not, I love them now, I never used to look up to them, I thought of them as the worst people and I blamed them for my depressions but now, I feel safe around them, I feel open around them and they've been a highlight of my days.
So guys, when you loose hope in the ones that you love, word of advice just don't mind the change and focus more on who makes you happy rather then focusing on them changing. People actually do change, maybe just not the way you want them to, this world revolves around compressions and adjustments. People are meant to change but they never promised to change the way you want them too. Enjoy what you've got while it's good and don't mind what depresses you. Enlighten up!

PS. and by the way I forgot to let you guys know, when people do change for the better, I understand that you guys might be flabbergasted but you have to learn to accept the change, and I know that the good adjustment is too good to be true, but guess what? It's all real and don't be afraid to trust them =] If they hurt you again, well then that's when you know the change wasn't a good one.

Blog.

As many of you asked me why I barely have pictures on my blog, It's because for me, this isn't really a blog where pictures are contained. I called it my "public diary" for a reason. My diary consist of mostly words to give out a visual image in your head. So yea. And you wonder why would I have a public diary? Believe it or not but people don't want to admit how nosy they are with other people's lives, so to make it easier for them, i give them something from my life to wonder on. And I'd be surprise if you guys actually read everything I post. Cause I gotta admit, my entries are pretty long.

So I've realized

I haven't been taking pictures in hela long.

Is wrong the new right?? FUCK IT.

It sickens me how people don't understand the goodness in life. I hate what people do just to get by in life. Like USING other people. Seriously though. Be real for once and appreciate what you're using from other people.
I have to admit, I've been a victim of being used and it hurts because it feels as if my qualities were something people could just use and throw away. It's not only happening to me, but EVERYONE is using people nowadays. Wtf, people who do that are useless. AND YOU KNOW WHAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST??? The fact that when I need someone for help, consolations, or advice, where the fuck is everybody at??
I've lost trust in everyone now. People I thought were my true friends and true family are now nothing me but a piece of shit. And I'm not going to do anything about it, because people like them aren't bright enough to realize what's happening.
I can't believe the shit I did for them, and when I say THEM, I mean family, friends, etc. When people needed my help, it was my pleasure at all means to give out the best advice I could, when people felt down and depressed, I was down there with them bringing them up, AND WTF DO I GET??? A BIG FUCK YOU AND OH I DON'T NEED YOU RIGHT NOW ATTITUDE.
Well fuck that and let karma let you know how I feel. I swear if I was a witch I'd fucking curse their life. BUT I'm kind of a good person, I have a heart and I'm more into HELPING them than HURTING THEM.
People, I'm not writing this out of anger, I'm doing this out of understanding from you. The actions you make, the thoughts that goes through your mind composes who you are and affects the people around you, BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE.
I understand this world is fucking demented but I understand there's hope for anything, so please think twice about who your using. AND BE APPRECIATIVE.
Friends arent someone who you can just use when you need and put away when you don't need them. REMEMBER KARMAS GOT YOUR BACK. It may seem like nothing, but the pain you've put me will be double on YOU.

out the closet??

So like for the past few days I've been thinking about this certain feeling I'm having. It's about time that I thought about this. I was telling my boyfriend how much he meant to me, but for some reason i felt like i was incomplete. Like i was looking for a love from that special someone, a special person. I'm currently feeling lonely on that side. I guess a guy can't fully satisfy me. I'll always be looking for that special person till i find them.

RIP

So I'm wondering why everyone is dying this millennium? Is this a sign? or what? But anyways it's a shocker, like seriously, of all people why Michael Jackson. Okay I don't want to talk about his death anymore cause It's depressing.
I'm not going to change the subject fully, but I'm going to converse slightly about that topic. When you get older, don't you kind of realize how things get more dramatic? For me it's like that. I may have done more dramatic things as I was younger, but nowadays drama is catching up to me.
Honestly, I'm not at a good position with my mom right now, feels as if i don't even have a mom..it's worse than it was before. I know i spent months wishing for something i never had, but when I had what I wished for, i certainly don't want it anymore. Life was better off without her. Her presence disturbs me, not disrespectfully, but more in a hurtful matter. It's hurtful knowing that she's my mom and I'm feeling that way, but it's at a personal reason.
But anyways whatever, I'm not in any mood to discuss my personal problem about my mom so I'll continue this topic some other time. &&RIP MICHAEL.

once in a lifetime.

As you see, i rarely write on this blog. I have to admit I'm frikkin lazy to be writing here everyday, as I've probably mentioned, I'm the most inconsistent person you'll meet so don't expect an every day article from me. And i do have my own journals to be updating on.
Anyways as summer is here I'm open for as much opportunities. But the bad side is I'm having the highest expectations ever. I have to understand what happens in my past will never eventuate again. So I decided to stop sitting here and wait for repetitions.
I also realize i can't always have fun forever, so I did something you would never thought I would do, and i applied for a job. ehw i know right? Well I think It's the right thing, like I probably said before; Life is not always a big party. The party has to end sometimes. So that's my consequence. It's the first step to responsibility. I really hope you're reading this thoroughly because I'm saying things you'll probably never hear me say outloud.
But yeaa. I don't know if you've realized but I'm the kind of person who's pretty stuck on my past. I woke up from a placid sleep last night just to think about about my past and ways it made me happy, but that really disturbed my peace and all of a sudden my stomach started to hurt. You know that feeling you get when you miss something terribly but you know that it'll never come back again? yea. that's what it was. The factor i was missing wasn't a person, nor an event, but more like a timeline..and how i felt during that timeline. I never knew I would feel such heavy happiness. I really took for granted of those days.
I know most of you who's reading this probably wouldn't care but I know there are some one out there who was involved in my past will slightly miss what i miss a bit. right? Well then you better be on the look out, cause even though factors in life will never repeat, I will do whatever to atleast remember how it was like to feel a certain way, even if it means getting in touch with whoever and whatever.